whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
