So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
