Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
