gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
