You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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