So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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