Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
