just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
