As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Dear god my vagina.
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