after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
