Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
