I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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