i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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