You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
