its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
