how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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