I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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