Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize