Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
