So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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