idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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