I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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