ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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