So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
