get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
