Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
