I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
