She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
