I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
