I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
