my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
