she woke up with a sticky ear
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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