we have officially lost it.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
