That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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