how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
