are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
