great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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