you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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