Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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