That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
