Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize