You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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