He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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