Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
