I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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