The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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