Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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