Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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