her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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