i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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