At least make sure they are 18
Why
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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