I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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