I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
