Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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