Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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