Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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