once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
