Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
