My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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