Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
