I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
