She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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