Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
either way he was missing a nipple.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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