haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
