How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
