dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
