After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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