sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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