i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
