oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
