I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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