I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
